Editor’s Note: Go read all of the great material at Didacticmind.com.
I’m going to start off here by stating a very obvious truth. Every single society, no matter how big or small, has to grapple with one fundamental truth: sperm is cheap and eggs are expensive. The main reason why modren society is collapsing is because this truth is now ignored or forgotten. But it has not gone away. Men and women once held to a basic compact. And it came down to dealing with that fundamental truth by ensuring that the majority of average men could find and marry decent women. Restoring the Compact and rebuilding society must be therefore become our first order of business if Western civilisation itself is to be preserved.
Squaring the Circle
Societies and philosophers within them have used many ways of dealing with this problem. They have proposed more still, some weird in the extreme. Only a handful of these ideas have ever proven even slightly workable.
Typically we see one man acquiring a lot of women through means of wealth and power. This is the most common form of polygamy, known as polygyny – one man, many women. Traditionalist Arab and Islamic societies throughout the Middle East and Central Asia exemplify this approach. This paradigm inevitably causes a significant imbalance in the Sexual and Marriage Market Places. When a small minority of men hoard many times their number of the most beautiful and desirable women, social order always breaks down. That is why polygynous societies tend to be highly unstable and undesirable.
A few societies – a very few – have attempted a female-centric approach called polyandry. That is to say, one woman serviced by many men. The remote and rather odd Mosou community of the southern Chinese Himalayan mountains are perhaps our best modern example.
Certain communes and “alternative lifestyle” communities have attempted polyamoury. This basically means that everyone has sex with everyone without any regard to pair-bonding. (This is what I mean by “weird in the extreme”.)
The astute reader will notice very quickly that NONE of the societies that practice polygamy in various forms are particularly successful or desirable places to live.
The Way Forward (is the Way Back)
The only model that has been tried and tested across time, continents, and societies, the only one that works, is monogamous marriage. That is the simple truth of the matter.
This method of solving the problem satisfies both parties. Men get access to sex, which suits us very well. Women get access to stability and resources, which suits them very well. Children are brought up in stable, two-partner environments. Balance is set between the strength, masculinity, and power of the man, and the care, femininity, and softness of the woman.
How, then, do we get back to the model of monogamous marriage that actually, y’know, works? How can we ensure that the average man can find himself a woman of reasonable quality in the present day and age?
Since we’re in The Agoge here, and since I’m about providing solutions instead of bitching about problems, let’s break it down.
1. Quality Begets Quality
Understand this, and understand it well: as my friend and brother in Christ Adam Piggott likes to say, women find themselves, men create themselves. If you expect to find a good-quality woman by “just being yourself” – sorry, it ain’t gonna happen.
You MUST put in the work.
That means that you need to:
- Be on point with your grooming – especially your facial hair;
- Get yourself a decent wardrobe – start with Adam’s guide, and get yourself quality brands that last;
- Go to a gym, learn how to lift, and get strong – this will also affect your choice of clothing, by the way;
- Optional but highly recommended – learn how to fight;
- Also optional, and also recommended – learn how to dance;
- Acquire at least one good suit – tailored, not off the peg;
- Read often, and read serious books;
- TURN OFF THE F***ING TV!!! (I really cannot emphasise that one enough);
There are plenty more things that you can and should do, but that is enough to start.
You need to realise that the days in which a man could be reactive, are well and truly over. The days when a man could spend his time building up his wealth and life, and expect a high-quality girl to just sort of fall into his lap, are OVER. Society is so atomised and fragmented that this approach is not feasible anymore.
Think of finding a good woman in terms of transitioning from one industry to another. This is hard to do. You cannot be reactive about it, for the most part. You need to be an active participant in your own transition. And your transition here is from a life of solitude and minimal risks, to a life of pair-bonding and taking risks.
2. Be Ready to Risk
That last point about taking risks is vital. This is why I so strongly disagree with the MGTOW crowd. They don’t want to take any risks. Some of them – a relatively small minority, in my view – have taken risks and been very badly burned. I understand exactly why those guys have given up. They tried, they failed, they took their lumps, and they decided they didn’t want to play the game anymore. And I absolutely sympathise with them. I have the exact same attitude that they do, when it comes to having a “career” in the standard sense.
But a significant portion of the MGTOW crowd simply has no interest in even taking risks in the first place. They always bleat and bitch and moan about how bad the environment is. They want you to chicken out before you even start dating, never mind getting married and having kids.
Look, chaps, I KNOW IT’S BAD. I am quite well aware that the dating and especially marriage markets are awful for men in the UK and USA and most of the Western world. If you only look at aggregate numbers, without bothering to filter things down to criteria relevant to YOUR situation, then yes, the odds are dreadful.
However, if you actually take the time and effort to analyse the situation, and take calculated risks, then you are in a much better position. Start here to get an idea of what you need to do.
3. Stay Out of the Dumpster
Go back to the first category that I wrote about above. Like I said, quality begets quality. If you do, at a bare minimum, the things that I told you to do, then you will find that something profound and powerful will happen to you.
You will become more interesting, and you will become a higher-quality man, simply by trying to improve yourself and taking risks.
Do you know what happens at that point? You start attracting good women.
And, more importantly, you start staying away from places with TRASHY women.
If you think that you can go to a bar or club and find a good-quality woman – these days, honestly, that’s a lot like going to a rental car company to find your next long-term car. (I blatantly ripped that one off from the legendary Jeff Foxworthy.)
I think reader and commenter TechieDude once remarked that if you roll in the shit with the pigs, you shouldn’t complain if you end up muddy and stinky. That’s the absolute truth. If you go dumpster-diving in bars and clubs for “good” girls, you are very unlikely to find them.
4. Do the Work
You can sit there and complain about how bad women are these days. That’s one possible reaction. It isn’t a very good one, though. Modernity can be blamed for a lot of evils and ills, but the modern age also has given us unprecedented opportunities. Even better, the world today is considerably more open than it was even a generation ago. So if you want to get away from where you are to greener pastures, you can do so.
You simply have to sack up and take the first steps. This means that you have to take steps to secure your independence. Setup your own business, or at least create a side gig. Find your niche and your voice. Provide a service that gives value to other people. Build networks and connections of like-minded men.
Do these things and you will secure your future. Fail to do them, and you will be consigned to the very Hell that you complain about.
Turn and Take Hold
The age-old Compact between men and women must be restored if civilisation is to have any hope of functioning. If you value running water, indoor plumbing, clean streets, and working electricity, then you need to be ready to fight for those things. And there is no better way to fight for them than by doing the exact opposite of what the globalist elites want.
One more thing – if you have daughters, you MUST impress upon them from an early age that THE SINGLE BEST THING THAT THEY CAN POSSIBLY DO with their lives is to get married and stay that way to a good man. The “to a good man” part is vital. As a father, you have to teach her how to recognise such men and sift the gold from the sand. Several of my readers are in that precise situation. They know what it takes and can add their experiences in the comments.
Civilisation thrives when ordinary men can get married and have sex and love and children with ordinary women. Civilisation falls when this no longer works. We’re not going to get back to what worked by talking about it. We’re going to get there by doing it.
So stop talking, and start doing. Everything you need is already within you. And if you need that little extra push, just look at what I’ve written above and use it as your starting point – to restore the Compact, and win the war.
The odds are not in your favor. But you know what, Ace?
If the odd of winning a roll of the dice is 1:50, which is pretty brutal, then if you roll them bones 200 times you have a roughly 98% chance of success (that is, you have only a ~2% chance of striking out 200 times in a row). Huh. How ’bout that?
If the odds of winning are 1:200, then in 400 rolls you have an 87% chance of success. 🙂
“Don’t tell me the odds!”
Keep improving yourself, keep getting back on that horse.
Yeah, getting thrown sucks. Oh, well, how do you think the gals tell the keepers from the losers?
The keepers are the ones who don’t let setbacks be life-enders.
In life you have to take risks to get anywhere you want to go. I will be the first to admit, my dating life was a roller coaster while I was a bachelor. I didn’t get married until my late 30’s, unlike most of my friends in my age group who were married in their mid to late 20’s to early 30’s. I was the king of being rejected, and thankfully that happened. Because on my journey to finding my wife, I found out what I wanted in a woman I wanted to marry. Sure it took longer than I had wanted, but, I wasn’t in charge, God has that department. If men today think it’s hard, I had three strikes against me, being only 5’7″, bald, and had low-income (during much of my bachelor years), all of these “negatives” are a big deterrent for attracting women. But, I was well read, worked out 5-6 times a week (still do this in my early 50’s), played rugby, surfed and snowboarded, which helped to offset my “negatives”, and allowed me to meet and date interesting women. Plus having a never quit never give up personality helps. Rejection is always going to happen in life, particularly in dating and career. My attitude, when dating/girlfriend rejection happened, ok, next. Move on. Yes, it stinks (temporarily), but being a MGTOW, because you’ve been rejected once or twice by a woman, well to me that’s giving up. Don’t give up, no one said life was going to be easy all the time, it’s not. Yes, enjoying the journey, is not fun, sometimes. But, when that one person walks into your life, it’s the best feeling in this world when you take that risk.