Editor’s Note: A few years ago, we had a fairly popular article here on raising manly men. Our friend Den Blonde Ulven adds in a needed update.
The Western world is plagued by feminized men who have completely bought into the feminine narrative which states that men are supposed to be limp-wristed, weak, spiteful, ring kissing, pronoun displaying, lobotomized caricatures of women. This post is not for those who have bought into this propaganda. It is for males who are on the fence about what it takes to be an actual man and for parents who do not know how to go about giving their boys positive outlets for them to grow into men. Traditional Western groups that used to teach manly skills are almost all converged, such as the Boy Scouts, but a few remain that can still be utilized.
Here are the concepts that must be confronted by a boy who wishes to de-feminize himself and grow into manhood:
The core of this idea is the emphasis placed on not lying to oneself, and this is achieved through rigorous testing and feedback. A man cannot lie to himself, he cannot lie to an opponent, and he cannot lie within a group. All of these must hold true before one can consider himself on the path to manhood.
Self- a strength training gym. Opponent- a boxing ring. Group- a sports team. Why do these activities encapsulate each of these concepts? Because one cannot lie in them.
The iron doesn’t lie. No matter how much one wills it, if he can’t push up that 135 pounds, he is not strong enough. If he can’t squat that 225, he is not strong enough. If he can’t pull 315, he is not strong enough. Continued training, constant diet improvements, improved programming, and soon he will be able to honestly claim that he is indeed strong enough.
A resisting opponent doesn’t lie. No matter how much one wants to deck him and knock him out, if he can’t, he can’t. One might have hip flexibility to head kick for days. Or maybe the strongest cross in the weight class. But can he put it into action and submit a fully resisting opponent?
Sports teams do not lie. Can the teammates count on him? Does it once cross their minds that he won’t show up to practice or a game? Or that he is reliable enough to take the penalty shot? Or that he can do what he says he can do? Notice that self honesty is a critical step that must be tackled before one gets to a team situation.
All of these concepts build upon one another until a man has established himself as a reliable member of the tribe. And as a tribe member, the games played before tribal acceptance translate perfectly into violent situations. Can he spot me on bench? Can he be relied upon in this bar fight? Can he be called on short notice if the family is in danger? Can he be trusted to hold up this shield in our shield wall?
There are plenty of other examples of these, but I have used purely physical ones to illustrate my point because they have less gray areas, and give reliable, precise feedback.
So, if you are a parent, sign your young boy up at an old-school weightlifting gym. Build his confidence in the weight room with a coach who will hold them accountable. Then after significant progress, check their ego by showing up at a boxing, Muay Thai, or jiu-jitsu class. And after progress is made, look for sports where they have a hard time coasting on others’ triumphs such as track, soccer, or steel fighting. Also note that a boy must confront this on his own and with other males. A parent cannot teach him these skills, nor can a group of women. This is a masculine undergoing and must be accomplished exclusively with males.
If you are a male that is independent of his parents, do the same. Show up at a Muay Thai or jiu-jitsu gym and ask the head coach if he can humble you with a round of sparring. I suggest you don’t show up with a big ego, because they will put you in your place very quickly if you do.
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